The Twelve Idiots of Christmas

The Twelve Idiots of Christmas
Vol: 99 Issue: 21 Monday, December 21, 2009

If I could sing and assuming I could write music, I’m sure it could become a new song of the season. I’d call it, “The Twelve Idiots of Christmas” and this year, we could probably get all twelve idiots out of just one state.

I’m not really keeping count — I can’t sing anyway — but we do have Dan Barker and his winter solstice sign to kick things off.

Barker’s contention that Christians ‘stole’ December 21st, renamed it ‘Christmas’ and moved it to December 25th convinced Washington Governor Christine Gregoire that it was a wrong that needed righting.

So Barker was granted permission to post a sign assessing religion as ‘a myth that hardens hearts and enslaves minds’ beside the Christmas Nativity scene.

The defense offered for its assessment of religion is that, in Barker’s view, Christianity is just as hateful, and anyway, “hate speech goes both ways” – whatever that was supposed to mean.

Barker’s personal opinion regarding what he thought Christianity meant was deemed sufficient justification to allow its inclusion.

To me as a Christian, the whole thing seemed, at first, like a joke on Dan Barker, The Freedom From Religion Foundation, and the Democratic Governor of Washington State.

As we discussed in “Beware the Mythical Baby”, the effort expended by Barker is based on his premise that a God Barker does not believe exists poses a threat to Barker’s well-being — because Barker does not believe He exists.

Barker’s “remedy” is to post a sign belittling those who do believe that He exists — a remedy that Christine Gregoire believed was both reasonable and fair.

That anybody regardless of their agenda, would offer such a ridiculous and unreasonable argument is laughable; that it was instantly acceptable to Far Left Washington Establishment instructive; but the whole thing, to me, seemed to make a joke of both Far Left Democrats and militant atheists.

If they wanted to audition for my “Twelve Idiots of Christmas” then, who am I to stand in their way? After all, I’m not as dumb as I look.

My wife says I couldn’t be.


The Washington State Christmas Caper is providing creative ways for idiots of all persuasions to make their voices heard.

I mean, somebody stole the sign, for cryin’ out loud. Then somebody else put a note on the newly-returned sign reminding them, “Thou Shalt Not Steal.”

The state has also approved a request for a “Festivus” display. Let me say that again. The State of Washington has approved — as a religious display at the State Capital — a Festivus Pole so those who celebrate Festivus won’t feel discriminated against.

“Festivus” was the invention of comedy writers working on the Seinfeld show in the 1990’s. One of the characters invented a substitute for Christmas that he dubbed, “Festivus — For the Rest of Us”.

“Seinfeld’s” appeal was that it was “about nothing” — its characters were obsessive-compulsive caricatures trying to discover the meaning of life in one-room New York apartments and a neighborhood deli. So they were able to get a half-hour’s worth of comedy out of an invented holiday.

Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.

Cosmo Kramer: What happened to the doll?

Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born: a Festivus for the rest of us!

Cosmo Kramer: Is there a tree?

Frank Costanza: No, instead, there’s a pole. It requires no decoration. I find tinsel distracting.

Frank Costanza: It’s made from aluminium. Very high strength-to-weight ratio.

Mr. Kruger: I find your belief system fascinating.

“The celebration of Festivus begins with Airing of Grievances, which takes place immediately after the Festivus dinner has been served. It consists of lashing out at others and the world about how one has been disappointed in the past year. Every household has its own traditions; in one house, the Airing of Grievances consisted of writing the grievances on the fridge in marker.”

(That’s ‘Festivus’ — I looked it up at Wikipedia.)

As the joke went national, so did criticism of the governor, whose office issued the following statement in her defense:

The U.S. Supreme Court has been consistent and clear that, under the Constitution’s First Amendment, once government admits one religious display or viewpoint onto public property, it may not discriminate against the content of other displays, including the viewpoints of nonbelievers.”

The whole country is getting a big laugh out of it, simply because it is so bizarre. But the butt of the joke is no longer militant atheists insisting that Christians return to pagans of the Northern Hemisphere their stolen holiday and abandon their own ‘superstitious’ faith — in the name of ‘reason’.

It’s even gone beyond Christine Gregoire and the liberal Democrats who share Barker’s definition of ‘freedom’ as ‘that which is taken from someone else’.

The butt of the joke isn’t Seinfeld, or even the idiots that want to place a Festivus pole at the state capital.

The country is laughing at Christmas, and at the Christian reaction to this latest assault on Jesus Christ and His First Advent. (We stole the sign, remember.)

The one laughing the loudest is the Enemy. The assault has taken decades, one Christmas at a time, until Christmas was replaced by ‘holiday’ and anybody who mentioned ‘Christ’ was a bigot trying to steal the season from ‘the rest of us’.

I’ve abandoned the idea for my song title — twelve idiots aren’t enough.

This Omega Letter was first published December 10, 2008

This entry was posted in Briefings by Pete Garcia. Bookmark the permalink.

About Pete Garcia

Christian, father, husband, veteran, pilot, and sinner saved by grace. I am a firm believer in, and follower of Jesus Christ. I am Pre-Trib, Dispensational, and Non-Denominational (but I lean Southern Baptist).

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